Excalibur #42 (1991)


Excalibur #42 (October, 1991)
"a Hatch is Plotted"
Writer/Pencils - Alan Davis
Inks - Mark Farmer
Letters - Michael Heisler
Colors - Glynis Oliver
Editor - Terry Kavanagh
Chief - Tom DeFalco
Cover Price: $1.75



We open at the headquarters of TechNet, where Gatecrasher is giddily announcing that something is alive.  The rest of the team isn't quite sure what she's going on about... and are pretty sure she's just lost her mind.  She assures them that's not the case, and produces the answer to all of their Excalibur-related problems (Phoenix in particular)... an egg?



Speaking of Excalibur, we shift scenes over to the lighthouse, where breakfast is underway.  The radio is on, and from it we can hear a news reporter discussing Excalibur's latest adventure.  He suggests that the team ought to be honored by the Queen... which Nightcrawler ain't really feelin'.  He thinks the media, and one reporter in specific, is just leeching off of their heroic feats.




As Meggan gets ready to prepare an egg for Kurt (perhaps just to give him something to occupy his mouth), one flies out of the carton... and ping-pongs all over the kitchen, before settling on the table... and cracking!



What emerges from the egg is... the terrifying, horrifying, genociding: Hawd-Boiled Henwy!  He threatens the team that they're about to meet their doom!  Gotta assume this li'l fella was inspired, at least a little bit, by the Looney Tunes pain-in-the-ass, Henery Hawk.  Considewing da speech impediment, he's puhhaps an amowgamation of Henery and Tweety Bird.



As Henwy continues with the threatening remarks... a clock begins to tick on his bulbous yellow noggin.  This ain't no ordinary bird...



... it's a bomb!  With a THOOM, the roof of the Lighthouse is blown to smithereens.  Across the sea, TechNet celebrates finally having bested the Exy's!



The baddies teleport inside what remains of the Lighthouse, and collects the bodies of the (still alive) good guys.



Well, here's the thing... before the bomb went boom, Rachel was able to deflect the blast!  And so, Excalibur and TechNet spend the better part of the next three pages punching and kicking one another.  That is, until the Techies fall into a weird stasis... as though they were frozen in time.  Suddenly, a portal opens... and two figures step out.



This is Horatio Cringebottom and Bert.  They work for Majestrix Opal Luna Saturnyne... by decree of the Omniversal Guardian, Roma.  This is some very Excalibur-y stuff right here.



Horatio informs the team that they're here for Widget... the little robot-head looking thing, whose origins we'll learn more about later on down the line.  Kitty and Rachel try to reason with the fellas... but, they ain't hearing it.  They've got their orders, and they will do what they're told.



Bert gets to "operating" on the li'l metal head... taking it apart piece by piece!  The Exy's are not pleased... but Bert assures them there's nothing to worry about.  Inside of Widget, underneath a bunch of gunk, trash, and a rubber spider... they find: a life-force?



Until they can better understand the inner-workings of Widget, Bert decides it best to implant a G/9543/CV#7 (which apparently inhibits the ability to access Crosstime?) into the shell, and reassemble the thing... so they might examine it later on.  Widget returns to normal... well, as normal as a metal robot head might be.



Before finally leaving, Horatio warns the team that TechNet's stasis will only remain another five-minutes.  He also hands Captain Britain a gemstone that he needs to give to Gatecrasher at that time.



Excalibur spends the next five minutes moving the frozen Techies into position, so that when they finally "wake up", they'll wind up beating the hell out of each other.  Kind of a dick move, but whattayagonnado?



After the baddies come out of stasis, and punch each other a bit, Captain Britain informs Gatecrasher that he has a gift for her.  He hands her that gemstone, and from it appears a holographic message from... Saturnyne!  She informs the TechNet that their "contract" on Phoenix is hereby rescinded.  Also, their "exile" on Earth-616 is now indefinite.



Nightcrawler begins to feel some of that old Catholic guilt... and suggests to Brian that they really ought to take care of the stranded-TechNet.  At first, the Cap ain't havin' it... but, he eventually gives in.



We wrap up with an epilogue... on Ee'rath.  Here we meet... one of the more lackluster character finds of 1991!  Kylun.  He promises that Excalibur will pay for what they've done to this land.



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